New spoken word/vid “Dear Ferguson Law Enforcement Officials…”

My latest spoken word parody performance about Ferguson, MO.

Dear Ferguson law enforcement,

  People are demanding that cops use cameras on the job. Don’t think of it as surveillance, think of it as one big #selfie!

(full text below)

 

I was rushing to get to a conference, so both the video & text are a little rough, but I feel so strongly about what’s going on.  As an artist, I can’t wait to make it perfect while so many are putting their lives on the line. May all residents, activists & journalists in the Ferguson area stay safe.

 

Dear law enforcement officials,

 

I know some of you are upset about how this whole Ferguson thing has led to a demand that you wear body cams as part of your uniforms. You feel like it might cramp your work style or something. But don’t think of it as surveillance, think of it as one big selfie. #glasshalffull.

 

I mean, in today’s social media world, who wouldn’t want the privilege of having a livestream of their professional life? Most of us are busy recording our lives every single second outside our jobs and being asked to do less social media during work hours, but you’re being asked to do more. #lucky.

 

Okay, I know what you’re going to say. The body cams don’t record the wearer, they record out.  Come on now, in this day and age, every camera can be flipped around. #readtheinstructions

 

And all these contractors are making so much money selling more equipment to law enforcement. Body armor, tear gas, tanks. Who wouldn’t want camera’s as part of the package? #shoppingspree!

 

If law enforcement got selfie privileges, you’d be like the envy of every teenage girl in America. In fact, this might lead to more women in law enforcement. #girlpower

 

But for now, I’m sure this could be good for everyone. Just think. When the officer of the national guard in Ferguson was talking with Don Lemon’s white CNN producer and used the N-word about all the protesters, I’m sure he meant it in the most cool, ironic, these are all my N-words, bro type of way, and the body cam would have helped everyone understand his friendly intentions. As it is, the producer and don lemon are going around telling everyone that he said the N-word. he said the n-word. totally out of context, and my god, he sounds like some ku klux klansmen from Mississippi in the 1960s. This is 2014, not the civil freaking rights movement. #BullConnor

 

I mean, it’s like when you have a fight with your boyfriend, and you’re like, you totally promised you would call me last night. And he’s like, no I didn’t and totally denies your reality and asks if you’re on your period. and you’re wishing he had texted it to you that so you’d have a record, but he said it on the phone and you’re like oh my god, I wish I had a recording of our call, but see in your situation you would have one, and you could play it for him. #busted

 

See, a body cam would have totally cleared up the misunderstanding about the micahel brown shooting that started this whole thing in the first place. I mean, the officer explained how he was just defending himself. And he wouldn’t have had to spend days in total anonymity while Michael Brown was trending and no one even knew the cop’s name. It’s Darren Wilson by the way. #fiveminutesoffame

 

And here these witnesses to the shooting, these young black kids coming out of the woodwork, or juvenile hall or middle school or the honor roll or being totally traumatized seeing one of their peers shot or whatever to contradict the officer’s totally believable story about how he had to shoot Michale brown like six times. Of course that makes total sense. Why didn’t he have a camera to document his completely understandable actions. Because it’s not like we live in a nation where grown, armed white men just gun down, just murder, just go around exterminating unarmed black teenagers in cold blood and end their lives just as they are on the brink of adulthood and get away with it. That would be a brutal, inhuman, racist, hypocritical, rogue nation. #whatabouttheconstitution

 

Anyway, I got a little heated there, but you cops need to look on the bright side. These days, everyday citizens are all under surveillance, but we don’t know who’s doing it or where the recording devices are. But you would totally know. Because you would be carrying the camera. And you would know you were being recorded so you could look your cutest and act your most courteous all the time on your job and totally impress your boss. #employeeoftheyear

 

So in conclusion, don’t think of it as surveillance, think of it as one big selfie. And NSA if you were eavesdropping on my phone convo with my boyfriend, can you please send me the clip where he promised to call. I’m sure you already have my email address. Okay, lucky law enforcement I hope this legislation comes through. #PermissionToUseDeadlyForceDeservesASelfie!