Aya de Leon

author – activist – faculty – mom

#MasculinitySoFragile – What would it look like if a men’s movement picked the right targets…

supermanSo MRAs are right to be angry. They have been systematically mistreated in a way that women haven’t. They are just wrong to blame and attack women, and scapegoat women with their rage.

So let me model what a principled MRA rant would sound like:

Fuck you, Western Society, for having me born in a hospital by an anesthetized mom from whom you ripped me away and isolated me, and then discouraged her from breastfeeding me.

Fuck you, Western Society, for telling me to be “a man” from the time I was a toddler. For shaming me for vulnerability. For denying me the human need of connection and closeness from the earliest times in my life.

Fuck you, Western Society, for setting up conditions where my dad was either gone, or working, or numbed out. And for drowning my mom in domestic (and/or wage-earning) tasks, that she couldn’t be present with me in the way either of us wanted.

Fuck you, Western Society, for showing me toxic models of masculinity in comics, cartoons, TV and movies that taught me to be silent, violent, and always in control.

Fuck you, Western Society, for teaching me to hate and feel ashamed of my body for not being manly enough as a young boy.

Fuck you, Western Society, for the systematic violence that you encourage among boys that I was targeted with and maybe even came to target others with.

Fuck you, Western Society, for instilling in me such a terror and fear of violence if I got close to other boys.

Fuck you, Western Society, for drilling it into me that the only form of connection I could have would be sexual and with a woman. For the internalized homophobia I felt if I was queer, and the sense of failure I had if I was hetero.

Fuck you, Western Society, for consistently training me to only believe that thin, white, blonde, conventionally attractive, big breasted women were valuable and that getting them in bed would redeem me.

Fuck you, Western Society, for exploiting me as a worker for corporations that serve only the most wealthy and as a soldier for your empire building that served those same interests.

Fuck you, Western Society, for isolating me and leading me to believe that I was the only man who ever felt afraid, sad, isolated, depressed, hurt, vulnerable, and for believing that these traits are female and that I should be ashamed of anything about me that was associated with being female.

Fuck you, Western Society, for teaching me that feminism and equality of the sexes wasn’t in my best interest. And denying me from knowing the truth that my freedom is intrinsically bound with the freedom of women.

Fuck you, Western Society, for teaching me to vent my rage and violence at how I’ve been systematically mistreated by your institutions onto women, queer and transgender folks.

Fuck you, Western Society, for convincing me that male privilege was worth the price of my humanity.

Thanks to all the men who are doing this work. As I’m on the run this morning, The Good Men Project comes to mind…

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2 comments on “#MasculinitySoFragile – What would it look like if a men’s movement picked the right targets…

  1. Pingback: #MasculinitySoFragile – What would it look like if a men’s movement picked the right targets… | bacchaed

  2. trezrun
    October 29, 2015

    Thank you! Love this!

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This entry was posted on September 23, 2015 by in Uncategorized.

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