author – activist – faculty – mom
OMG, girl, have you heard the news?? Yes! Patriarchy is dead, honey. I read it in Slate magazine. Woo hoo! I’m finally gonna break out the expensive stuff I’ve been saving for a special occasion. This is awesome. I didn’t even bother to lock my front door. Yes, girl, everything is about to different. I can expect a bump in salary this month, as I get paid comparably with my male counterparts. I’ll finally sell that novel about women of color fighting racism and sexism—can you say bestseller? And best of all, I’m gonna be getting paid a living wage for all that childcare and house work. Cha-ching! Yes, I’m already planning a trip to Juarez, cause that must be a lovely place for women to vacation these days. And I’ll also be spending some money on fair trade clothes cause they’ve closed all the sweatshops,right?…Yes, of course we can go shopping together, and— Hold on…I thought I heard something coming from the attic…You’re right. What’s there to be afraid of now that patriarchy is dead? No rapists, no serial killers preying on women. Must be the cat, although I can’t imagine how she got up there…Here kitty kitty kitty…AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Patriarchy isn’t dead, it’s UNDEAD! The feminists were right…RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!
If patriarchy is dead, then women today are all living in a zombie horror movie. And anyone claiming that sexism is finished must have already had his or her brain eaten. Free yourself from the legions of the mindless. Trust what your eyes, ears, and senses tell you: women have made many gains, but it’s still a dangerous world to be a woman or girl. Zombies can be either male or female. As can our allies against the zombie patriarchy. So batten down the hatches, ladies, because this battle is far from over.